OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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