dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
