Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
