When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
