i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
