Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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