chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
