Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
