if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
