I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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