just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
