I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
