Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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