Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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