At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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