Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
