im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
