I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize