Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
