I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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