when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
