Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
