You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
