What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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