ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
