I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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