Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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