We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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