East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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