guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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