is your mom at the bar?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
