And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
