Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
