He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
