porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
