the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
