It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
