i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
