i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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