Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
