in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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