if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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