plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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