My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
