There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize