Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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