Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
