ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
