Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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