He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
