words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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