We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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