She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
