One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
