here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
