If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Mom said you looked used
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
