What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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